Don't be fooled. Inside this thin coating of sweetness is a fiery core of total insanity.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Phallic Splendor of Hens and Dicks...I Mean Chicks

I sincerely hope I'm not the only gardener with an adolescent sense of humor, who goes around the garden at this time of year smirking and chuckling at my Sempervivums. Cause if I was the only one, that would make me, like, a total dork.

I also find myself really annoyed at them, because when they start doing this, it means they're going to die soon, and leave a hole in the landscape. Not a very big hole, but still, a hole. Heaven knows what I'd do if I ever grew an Agave that flowered. I think I'd be really pissed. (They die too, and they're a lot bigger.)

Sempervivums are monocarpic, which means they die after they flower.  Before they flower, the whole plant, which until now has been a pretty rosette that itself resembles a flower, starts to elongate, and gets flower buds on the tip, that make it look kind of like a little monster with many eyes.

Each of those is a bud that will open up into a tiny flower.

With my Whale's Tongue Agave -- it's just a little prick, but I hope one day it'll be a big one

Geez, it's a good thing men don't die after "rising to the occasion." On the other hand, that would make the world an interestingly different place.