Don't be fooled. Inside this thin coating of sweetness is a fiery core of total insanity.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Worse Than Raccoons

I had a problem with a marauding mammal in my garden that was damaging my peonies, so I decided to simply cut all the flowers and offer them at the end of the driveway to my neighbors and passers-by for free.

What marauding mammal could be worse than the raccoons that have occasionally wreaked havoc in my back garden? Deer? A bear?

It was a human.

I've had this problem every year, for the past 3 years, ever since I put peonies in the front bed near the street. Every year when they bloom, someone starts stealing them, ripping the stems. I let this entitlement go, mostly (whoever it is, they also take Dahlias in the fall), but this year they actually tore a support cage out of the ground and left it at the side of the road.

So I decided to take agency of the problem -- I cut all the flowers at once and gave them away. I considered cutting them and putting them in a vase to be displayed prominently in a front window, visible from the street, but I thought that kind of taunting might herald the beginning of a fight I didn't want and probably wouldn't win.

As I was outside later, watering pots, my neighbor across the street called to me, "The flowers are beautiful! I'm only going to take a couple."

"Take as many as you want! Take a bunch!"

"The garden looks wonderful!"


They were all gone by 9:00 the next morning. Whoever has been taking them may have taken some of the free ones I offered, but I don't care about that. I offered them, and I cut them.

And now I won't see any more broken stems.


  1. People are THE WORST...especially because they know better, where as animals are just that.

  2. I hate to think it was a person stealing those beauties. Could it have been a crazy dog digging them up? Your peonies are lovely! I like how you are meeting darkness with generosity.

  3. You are so kind. Thoughts of wrapping stems with barbed wire went through my head. It really sucks when people steal flowers that you plant for everyone's enjoyment. Sorry this happened to you.

  4. I am sorry to hear of this. We have land with several ponds. Like you, we have had a few trespassers. They have left some trash behind, which is how we know of their trespassing. It scares me for several reasons, if they should get hurt or wonder if they snoop in our barns etc.

  5. I'm absolutely flabbergasted by the gall of some people. I'm impressed that you took control of the situation in the generous way you did and I hope the message struck the marauder in the center of his/her puny little heart.

  6. Oh, drat! What is it with people? A trail camera would be an interesting investment to have, or at the least, a dummy camera set up with a sign saying the yard is monitored. I remember one time when I was a kid, a woman stopped on the road and ran into our yard, going down on her belly as she neared the peonies, stealth-style. My mother was beyond annoyed but then started laughing, it looked so silly; she apparently thought we wouldn't notice her if she came in on all fours? I have had hostas stolen from the driveway, I mean, really, they could just ask, I'd dig them for them. I had a friend tell me her hydrangea flowers were all cut off one night; apparently they can sell them for decorations or weddings. You are beyond generous, I hope this sends a message to the culprit.

  7. That was a noble solution. I would have picked them for myself.

  8. I was hoping it was an animal but had a feeling you were gonna say a human was responsible. I am so sorry someone feels entitled to your flowers, maybe, just maybe, your generous solution will cause them to think twice next time? Oh hell...what am I saying...

  9. So this year I had just one flower from 'Snow Swan' peonies which I had transplanted to the front last year. The day it opened someone plucked it from the stem and dropped it on the ground.


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