Don't be fooled. Inside this thin coating of sweetness is a fiery core of total insanity.

Thursday, July 9, 2015


I've got lots of dead or nearly dead or looks-like-it-might-be-dead plants out in my garden. If the horror is too much for you, just look away.

Dead? Actually, no

Dead? Definitely

Dead? Maybe. This is the Japanese maple that I bought earlier this year, that looked near death not long after I planted it. So far, it hasn't produced any new leaves, despite being watered and kept in the shade. If it's dead, "Gomeifuku wo inorimasu," poor Japanese maple

Dead? Just its lower half

Still green and pristine growing tip

Dead? Don't think so, not yet anyway

This leaf is still alive, so maybe it will put up a new one before the end of summer if I give it plenty of water from here on

Dead? Don't think so, my 'Jacob Kline' Monarda does this every year if it doesn't get exactly the right amount of water

Dead? Looks alive, doesn't it? But I think this poor Grevillea is dead

Dead? Don't think so, but those large Rheum leaves look a lot like dog vomit fungus

Dead? Possibly just in need of trimming

This part of it is still alive

Dead? Maybe

Hydrangea, very much alive, planted just a few feet away from the previous one

Dead? At this point, I won't know for sure till next spring

Dead? Not yet, but give me a few weeks and I can make sure it is -- Pernettya rubra, just planted this spring

Dead? No, but in dire need of some judicious amputation. This patch of ostrich ferns usually benefits from overspray from our lawn sprinklers, but this year we started them up about a month too late

Dead? No, just trampled to within an inch of its life by raccoons doing a rain dance

Dead? No, just in need of deadheading

Just a little lower down, this 'Chomley Farran' Dianthus is still producing some pretty spectacular flowers

With some cool weather in the offing, I'll be out there doing my imitation of the doctor in Gone With The Wind, amputating left and right, wielding my secateurs like a bone saw.